Diablo View Orchid Society

Next Meeting: Thurs. 12^th June at 7:30pm
Alan Koch/Gold Country Orchids

[Cue music: Frankie Lane: ‘Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darlin’]

Two men face off in the heat of the noonday sun. Fingers twitch by their holstered weapons, eyes narrow against the sun’s glare. A lonely breeze skutters a leaf across their path. Thin lips curl into a cruel smile.

One shot rings out. One man falls, now a heap in the dust. Dead. A woman wails in grief.

"You done it now, Stranger." A voice calls out from an alleyway, where most of the townsfolk cower. "That was ALAN KOCH’s best potter. You better shake the dust of Lincoln off yer boots quick as you can, afore he finds out."

The stranger spins his pistol back into its holster. Sneers. "Who is this ‘ALAN KOCH’?"

"He’s one mean mother [oops, sorry, wrong movie]. He’s the head of GOLD COUNTRY ORCHIDS. Came out here when this country was nothin’, built the finest orchid spread north of Sutter’s Fort. And now you gone and killed his best hand." [spits] "Gonna be hell to pay for that one."

"That the same Alan Koch who used to run with the Hetherington Clan, down in Southern California? Grows them sissified mini catts, them Pink Dolls and Keepsakes, them Tiny Titans and [sneers] Orpetti and Laelia hybrids? Ha, that stuff even fits on windowsills and under lights. Hear tell he runs a few head of Paphs and Phals on his ranch, too. I can smell ‘em from here. Word has it he’s fast on the draw where awards are concerned." [eyes narrow] "But I’m faster."

A young woman’s voice gushingly calls out "He’s big and tall. And strong! And he can kick your butt." followed by her mother’s ‘Hush up, Sara Lou! Get back to the ranch! Someone send for the Marshall!"

May Awards

The stranger draws his weapon again. "Hell, I know ’im. Send him out here and I’ll send him to meet his Maker, too." He cackles in glee, spinning the pistol on one finger.

"Mister, I don’t think you take my point." A man peeks out from hiding, hat in hand. "Now that you gone and kilt the best potter in the county it means all the wimmen folk are gonna have to go back to work pottin’ up orchids... They ain’t gonna cotton to that notion." [The woman wails again. "And I just had my nails done!"]

The stranger blanches as a crowd of 30-40 women brandishing frying pans and rolling pins converge on him from the alleyway. "There’s the pole cat! String him up!" "I’ll teach you to take away my Saturday’s off!" "Who’s gonna get the kids to soccer practice now, you idiot?"

The stranger turns tail and runs off, his feet raising little clouds of dust, into the setting sun. "That’ll learn ’im!".

- Kathy Barrett

June Raffle Table
Gold Country Orchids.

Alan will deliver PRE-PAID pre-orders to our society. BE SURE to tell him which society you are with so he knows which one to bring your plants to.